Mon, 05 Sep 2005 17:25:41 GMT

i just remembered this journal. well, i have something to say. i'm quite sure no one will see this, but maybe if a couple do, i won't feel so silent anymore.
i'm trying to get over a man. i thought it might work, i wanted it to so badly. turns out he gave me herpes, pretty much ruined my sexual life in the future, but that's not the worst part. i don't blame him for it. i'd like to think that he really didn't know he had it. the thing is this.
i changed my sanitary pad this morning, and i wished so hard that i never got my period. that the last time we had sex, which was the first time in over a month since i told him about the herpes, he had made me pregnant, and maybe somehow it would have brought us together.
it's selfish, i know, but i'm still wishing i could call him now and tell him about our baby.

Well...

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 19:10:24 GMT

i guess i can write whatever the fuck i want in here now. just for the record, the lack of capitalization makes me feel more... sneaky? like there are fewer discernible traits for people to identify me with.
i really hate people who say that "blacks cant be racist." or really, that any race cannot be racist because they are victims of racism themselves. the simple truth is, that everyone is racist a little bit. and when you call someone a cracker, or a pollack, or a wop, or a mick, youre being as racist as someone calling a black person a nigger.
you just have to accept certain things. the stereotype that jews and blacks dont tip came to be because, surprise, THEY DONT. that waspy whites think theyre better than the rest of the world is because they do. people say asians cant drive because on the whole, they cannot. that doesnt mean that every white person, black person, asian person, or any one person is exactly as you'll expect them to be, but sometimes youll know what to expect from them before it happens.
this is not racism, this is learned impulse.
no. it isnt alright to not hire someone because they are not the ethnicity that you are, or to speak slowly to them because you assume they are slow in the head, but lighten up, and realize that everyone has certain beliefs about certain races based on what they learned from interaction with them.
i do not condone racism to the extreme, or hate crimes, or outright discrimination, i just want people to see that everyone is capable of racism in a social sense, and to not be so sensitive about it until you can honestly say that you are not racist at all yourself.

cowardlygirl

Well...